Surveying the moms at a recent MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) talk, the overwhelming top response was the need for moms to have more time for themselves!  Don’t you know that the minute you sneak away to make a phone call, World War III breaks out with your kids?!  They have this innate ability to know when Mom is all-tied-up!  But moms need a way to recharge their batteries too, ‘cause that’s the best way to bolster their patience quota.  So here’s my top favs for finding an oasis in the midst of a long day.

8.  Establish a time-out seat for mom.  And let the kids learn to tiptoe around when you head there!

7.  Bundle up on a crisp fall day and jump in piles of leaves together!

6.  Attend Story Hour at your local library.  You can catch up on some magazine browsing while your child is enthralled by the story-telling.

5.  Shop at grocery stores that provide short-term childcare.  The kids will be happy and you’ll be less frazzled from shopping.

4.  Sign up for a Mommy & Me Class at a local gym or pool.  The socialization with other moms will do you a world of good, and you’ll enjoy your child more in a different environment.  The exercise will release those feel-good endorphins, as well!

3.  Swap a few hours of childcare every week with another mom.  The rule is:  do something for yourself during that time away, no housework or grocery shopping!

2.  Hire the neighborhood pre-teen to play with your child in the next room where you can be available, but out-of-sight.

1.  Pile up the blankets and pillows for a slumber-nap together.  You need your rest, too, Mom!

Be creative!  You can catch a breather every day, Mom!

Sally

I seem to think I have unlimited time for all of the projects I want to pursue.  It shows up in the form of over-commitment, burnout and just plain stress.  If I were to one day learn that I have time constraints just like all other mere mortals, then I might come up with these observations.

1)  Because children grow up too fast, I will limit how many outside commitments each one takes on.  Kids need time to daydream in the clouds and chase bullfrogs by the downspout.  When busyness takes away freedom to wander, then life gets in the way of really living.

2)  Being busy does not bring value to the self.  It’s much easier to knock things off of my “to do” list, than to simply be still.  But all people need time to stop and ponder the mysteries of God.  When He says “Be still,”  He means He wants our undivided attention!  I will learn to be content in the “who” that I am, rather than finding my worth in “what” I can accomplish!

3)  “People are more important than things.”  This is good to know, but hard to live by.  When you’re in the middle of a project (like measuring out ingredients for a recipe) and the phone rings, it’s tempting to growl at the caller.  Or when you’re late for your meeting and the toddler’s shoe gets lost, it’s easy to lose your cool and forget about the feelings of a precious little being.  I might learn to look him in the eyes and smile instead of rushing out the door.

Thank you, Robert, for this group writing project.  It’s good to remember that Limits give us healthy boundaries for living!

Sally

How do you cultivate a leader at home?  As I watch the way parents nurture their children’s personalities, I am beginning to understand the importance of exposing children to many influential people throughout their formative years.  We’ve had many opportunities to host pastors, missionaries, musicians and international guests.  And it has been a joy to watch these guests engage my children in conversation.  It stretches their worldview to talk to someone who has experienced life from a different perspective!  If I want to raise leaders in my family, then they need to observe a leader in action.  John Maxwell notes that The Law of Legacy takes place by reproducing qualities in others that will give them tools to succeed. 

What will it take for a child to succeed in life?  Survival skills, relational tools, a healthy self-esteem and a support system are all essential ingredients.  Last summer, we watched a transformation take place in our daughter when she worked in our friend’s business.  She worked hard and enjoyed having a paycheck.  But she also learned to interact with people and realized that she had something to contribute to the world.  It took her outside of our realm and placed her in an environment where she learned from a great leader.  And the experience enabled us to reap better conversations when she was at home!

How can we raise leaders?  First, by cultivating their potential lying dormant under the surface.  We’re not trying to replicate carbon copies of ourselves, but human beings who tap into their own personality strengths.  Second, by equipping our kids to fail in life.  Yes, you read that right!  When our children learn how to handle failure, then they will be able to pick themselves up when life knocks them off their feet.  And third, we’ll raise leaders when we place them in situations where others can impact them for good.  When my kids were little, I held a tight grip around them.  As they’ve grown, the process of letting go has released them to learn from many who have mentored them, challenged them and affirmed them.  Proverbs says to raise up a child in the way he should go, and as we study our kids, we will recognize the qualities that will lead to their own path in life.  And that’s the kind of support system they’ll need to succeed!

Sally

            Approximately 14 years ago, I saw an article in a magazine for pastors’ wives that talked about the ministry of writing.  It piqued my interest in a craft that has now become my passion.  That article talked about an organization that trained writers in the pursuit of excellence at a place called Glorieta, and the seed was planted.  Now I have the opportunity to attend that conference at Ghost Ranch!  

            Good writing is absorbed into a story and becomes a silent partner in the telling of that story.  Bad writing disrupts even a great story and prevents audience connection.  I want to hone my skills so that the reader will forget about me and get totally enthralled with the story!

Come join me at the CLASS Christian Writers' Conference!!  http://www.classeminars.org/Events/Writers-Conference/

Sally...Because Writers Must Speak, And Speakers Must Write!

Setting a strong pace at the Cross Country Meet yesterday, Anna flew past her opponents.  It was cold and rainy, but her determination kept her on the course.

I need that focus today.  My “to do” list is overflowing and I’m flitting back and forth between projects instead of seeing something through to completion.

Paul reminds us to run with purpose.  That includes discipline and determination and a daily decision to stick to the plan.  And sometimes that includes encouragers along the way.

How do you keep yourself on track?  Any tips for someone out of breath?    

Sally

Our college-age Sunday School class is working through a book called Single Men Are Like Waffles – Single Women Are Like Spaghetti.  I’m realizing it is much easier to talk to them about dating relationships, than to my own teens! 

This week’s chapter talks about the level of commitment men and women experience as sex enters the equation.  Women think sex is a sign of love, and men think love is a sign of sex.  If she’s giving, to receive his love, and he acts loving, to receive sex, then they are on different wavelengths.  The bond that forms then seals a relationship that is difficult to break.  God says in Genesis 2:24 that the two become one.  The resulting emotional ties affect every decision thereafter and cloud the ability to avoid bad relationships.

If a singles are willing to set high standards for their dating lives, then they will be able to be objective about their relationships.  What kind of values does that person have?  work ethic?  respect for family members?  what are their goals in life? views on politics?  how do they spend money?  These questions and more need to be asked before a relationship gets entangled by physical ties.

We assume if we have those feelings of “being in love,” everything else will work out.  But what happens when the feelings aren’t there?  That’s when integrity and commitment keep a marriage together until the feelings return.  Every marriage goes through bland times, but a marriage built on trust and respect has a greater foundation to last.

So, talk about the long-range effects of a life together, and maybe those sex talks will take on a whole new perspective!

Sally

We’re remodeling outdoors!  The back door and steps have been torn out to make way for French doors leading onto a patio.  The ground has been dug out to prepare for a stone foundation that will be covered with concrete.

Hubby and his Dad have been doing all of the grunt work, with help from generous friends.  But one night I went out to help shovel the stones to spread them out from the pile where they were dumped.  It didn’t take long to feel the pull on my muscles.    “How do guys make work look so easy?!”

The ping of the shovel’s scrape against the rocks took on its’ own rhythm.  Dig.  Swing.  Pitch.  Swing.  Dig.  Swing.  Pitch.  Swing.  I didn’t think my mountain would ever shrink.  But I knew I couldn’t give up.

Jesus talked about a faith that was big enough to move mountains.  He said that any mountain could be conquered by a mustard seed.  What mountain do you need to tackle today?  He’ll give you the faith you need.  When you have to plug away at something that seems insurmountable, remember that He is there pulling for you too.  Rick Warren suggests posting little notes around you as visual reminders that say, “God is with me and for me right now!”  (p. 89, The Purpose Driven Life)

Keep depending on the Lord’s strength to get you through.

Well, the mudding is about done in the Dining Room.  I’ll be painting this weekend and getting ready for the new flooring.  But I’ll remember with each stroke of the paintbrush that it only takes a mustard seed to move a mountain!

Sally

It’s the story of a cook who blogs her way through Julia Child’s cookbook in a year.  As she makes each recipe, Julie becomes more confident in her ability to handle any recipe, because she is better acquainted with the author.  The storyline follows both of their lives, with all of the hardships and joys they encounter on their way to cooking success.

That’s a lot like reading the Bible!  The more we become acquainted with the Author, the better we are able to tackle what life hands us.  Psalm 34:8 says, “O taste and see that the Lord is good.” 

Won’t you R.S.V.P.?

Sally

Jennifer Rothschild answered this in her January issue of Java with Jennifer:

Question: How does someone make a life?  This sounds like an odd question considering that "everyone is sooo busy."  Everyone but me.  I lost my life because of various factors.  I live in a small community and have been out of the workforce for eight years.  I don't know how to get going again.
 
Trudi
 
Answer: Trudy, I'm so sorry you're in such a tough place...but, I am not certain of your real question.  If it's a job you want so you will feel like you have a life again, that's a question better answered by a career counselor, and I pray God's favor upon you and your quest.  But to me, the deeper concept is this--being busy or having a job is not the same as having a life or truly living.  Don't sell yourself short, Trudy.  Just because you're not busy right now, doesn't mean you're disqualified from living.  In fact, you may be in a uniquely blessed place to have the time to "make a life" as you said.
 
To me, it seems the way to make a life is the way you make a cake...one ingredient at a time!  Whatever life, like whatever cake, you want to make starts by beginning with the end in mind.  If you want a sweet fluffy cake, you begin with egg whites and sugar.  If you wish to gain a rich and meaningful life, you begin with brokenness and abandonment. 
 
Jesus compared really living to a seed dying: "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone.  But if it dies, it bears much fruit. " (John 12:24)
Jesus' words tell us it is really possible that real life is found in brokenness and self-abandonment.  "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it.  But whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his own soul?" (Matt 16:25,26)
 
A real life is not characterized by your job.  Real life is not measured by a jammed calendar.  It's determined by a Velveteen Rabbit standard.  You know you've "made a life" and you're living a "real" life when it's well squandered...given away to God and others.    
 
So, my friend, perhaps focusing on what you have to give rather than what you've lost can be the first ingredient to making a rich life worth living.

Were you surprised by Jennifer's answer?  The last thing we expect to hear is that riches begin with brokenness.  Yet Jesus never tried to keep us in our comfort zones.  He wants total obedience to the call to serve others.  And that can be really uncomfortable at times.  How have you found a balance between making a living and making a life?

Sally

Guest Article by Ali Brown

For many working moms, the biggest challenge is achieving work/life balance. We feel pressure from unseen forces to be at the top of our field professionally and to make ourselves worthy of Mother of the Year. Why are we constantly chasing unrealistic expectations, both at home and at work?

Maybe it's because so many movies and television shows portray women who have it all: the high-powered career, the spotless house, the successful husband, and two point five adorable, doting children. In reality, most women struggle to balance just a few of these things, all the while tripping over stray toys or dirty laundry. Here's how to lose the guilt and cherish what you have.

*Let go of perfection. Most men do not feel guilty because they work and have children, and this is often because they don't expect perfection. They don't stress about an unmade bed or a child with jelly stains on their shirt, and neither should you. The key is to focus on what is important to you. Setting priorities and letting go of extraneous items on your to do list will help you achieve balance. If, for example, you choose to focus on three things, you'll be able to do those things really well and the other items won't bother you as much.

*Do what works for you. Stop comparing yourself to other women! Your neighbor may have time to bake brownies from scratch, sew costumes for the school pageant, and host elaborate potluck dinners, but that doesn't mean that you need to do any of these things. Balance is all about what works for you, not what other people are doing or asking you to do. Make your own decisions about priorities and have confidence in your own choices. Learn to say no when someone asks you to do something that doesn't fit with your priorities. You might feel a momentary discomfort, but you'll be relieved later when you have more time for what's important to you.

*Make time for yourself. Whether you enjoy reading, exercising, or some other activity, making time for yourself should be a priority. Many women who are nurturers by nature spend so much time on other people that they never have time for themselves.

But if you are too busy to take care of yourself, then your coworkers and your family will probably notice that you seem stressed and perhaps resentful. Even young children can sense when mom isn't at her best. Showing children the importance of self-care from an early age is a valuable lesson that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. Be a positive role model and carve out time for yourself.

Balancing work and life is not a choice, but a necessity for working women. Remember that you are important and that no one else is going to make your self-care a responsibility. Once you banish guilt from your life, then you will be much better equipped to handle everything - and to enjoy it, too.

© 2009 Ali International, LLC

I have been trying to describe the gift of time we had with Moses Abasoola.  That seems about as easy as capturing a moonbeam in your hand.

Tim & Colleen Stevenson, Missionaries to Uganda, introduced Moses to us at the Church of God North American Convention in June.  Moses came to the States for the convention and to visit with churches across the continent. 

At supper with Tim & Colleen, Hubby fired away questions about the upcoming trip to Uganda with our work team.  As Roy tries to wrap his mind around preparing a group for international travel, he has been searching for ways to make it more personal for our congregation.  Tim & Colleen had a full itinerary for their furlough time in the U.S. and couldn’t come to our town for a visit, but mentioned that someone else had traveled to the meetings in Indiana.  From there, the details rolled into place for Moses to come to Jamestown for a visit.

From the day Roy came back from picking up Moses in Ohio, I knew we were going to hit it off.  Moses is quiet and non-assuming, but a man of great character.  Roy & Moses actually got to the house before I got home from picking strawberries in Sugar Grove.  As I apologized for not being there when they arrived, Moses replied with his standard response, “It’s no matter.”  I soon learned that it was his philosophy on life:  just take everything in stride.

Here are 5 things I learned about Moses.

1)  Contentment is a great treasure.  Moses was content with anything we offered.  Whether Mountain Dew, Chai or water, everything was accepted with great appreciation.

2)  Be satisfied with good enough.  When we would apologize for being late or keeping him waiting, Moses would say, “It’s okay; it’s enough.”  Again, he was content to just take life as it comes.

3)  Awe of God’s provision.  Roy & I took Moses to see Niagara Falls.  Everywhere we looked, Moses exclaimed, “God provided all of this!”  His thrill of God’s creativity was boundless!

4)  Humility speaks louder than words.  At first impression, Moses seemed to be very quiet.  As we got to know him, we became more aware of the wealth of knowledge he contained.  Moses was a keen observer of people.  And when he prayed, we were ushered into the presence of our Almighty, Loving Father.  It was a delight to listen in on the conversations Moses had with the Lord.

5)  A good sense of humor can transcend any language barrier.  Words may fail us in relationships, work or crises.  But laughter can lighten the load.

We miss having Moses here, but he has returned to his wife Beatrice, his village in Uganda, and to his work as a pastor to pastors in his country.  His visit with our team solidified their desire to visit Africa, and to find the funds to make it happen.  I’ve only scratched the surface here; go to facebook to see the pictures I posted there!

Sally

Ever feel like that house cleaning stuff is just not what it's cut out to be?  Check out this video from the crew at flylady.net!  Be sure you watch the second half!