Have you been a little too healthy lately?  Are you jealous of those who called in sick at work?  Do you wish for a quarantine on your schedule with a little R & R?  Then here are some tips to help you join the ranks of so many that are sick right now.

1.  Handle lots of money.  Currency is a breeding ground for germs.  When you think of the countless hands that have touched those bills, it’s no wonder you can get sick.  And for Pete’s sake, don’t keep any hand sanitizer at your work station.  What would people think?

2.  Don’t wash your hands.  It’s a time consuming task anyway.  Think how much time you could shave off your day if you went straight back to work!

3.  Touch your eyes, nose and mouth frequently.  This will carry germs to where you are most vulnerable.  And will speed up the process to putting you flat on your back.  Oh, can’t you hear your comfy pillow calling you now?

4.  Over schedule your time.  When you are running from one activity to another, your body has to work at keeping up.  Besides, isn’t it a sign of being a better Christian, when you burn yourself out for the Lord?

5.  Heap on the stress.  Crises drain your immunity system.  They make your body fight against itself.  Make sure you get enmeshed in other people’s problems too.  That’ll stress you out for sure because you’ll feel a total lack of control.

6.  Noise…and plenty of it.  Watch TV nonstop.  Keep the radios blaring.  Invite the kids to wrestle in the living room.  Don’t worry, when you get jumpy, it just means you’re a little closer to that meltdown you need.

7.  High expectations.  When you place a lot of demands on your time and relationships, there’s no way you can measure up.  Isn’t busyness next to godliness?

8.  Don’t take vitamins.  They take a chunk out of the grocery budget anyway.  Really, how could you possibly know they’re not a scam?

9.  Eat lots of junk food.  The empty calories will rob your body of the nutrients it needs.  And your taste buds will love you for it!  Say “no thank you” to veggies and fruits.  Especially the fresh kind.  They’re the enemy of illness.

10.  Don’t take time to pray and read God’s Word.  Prayer is known for its healthful benefits, such as calming the heart rate and releasing problems.  So avoid it at all costs.

 

There, that should get you well on your way to a forced time-out from life.  Don’t have a sore throat yet?  Eat some more sugary foods and call me in the morning.  On second thought, send me an email…I might not be feeling better yet.  

Sally

Hi Sally,

I am one of those hand sanitizer nuts. I carry some in my purse, and use it all the time. Even in church, believe it or not. It is nice to shake hands, but not nice to pick up germs. I even use it at restaurants, etc. I am a real fanatic about it. LOL.

Thank you for visiting, and yes, you certainly may use the friendship poem. It is one that has been circulating in some emails, so it isn't mine or anything.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Renie