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Sunday, May 6th 2012

9:55 PM

When You Grieve

Not if, but when.

We all encounter hardship in life.  That’s normal.  The abnormal is when we avoid it.

How do you embrace grief?  When Mom died 19 months ago, it took months for the reality to set in.  We went through the motions at the funeral and did the best we could with the reality of it all.  When Gra’ma died three months ago, we had been preparing for her homegoing, but the finality still hit hard.

Grieving comes in many shapes.  When close friends have moved away, it has been difficult to regroup.  They build lives in other places and we try to fill the gap from their leaving.  Does it create a yearning in you for something more?  It does for me.

Processing the implications of loss takes time.  The kind of loss may be different from one person to the next, but we all know the pain of saying goodbye.  I am a work in progress, but here are some things I have learned along the way.

1.  You can’t rush the process.  Allow yourself time to grieve, and understand that each person grieves in her own way.

2.  You can’t avoid it.  Memories of our loved one can be triggered at any given moment and sneak up to startle us.  One particularly good day, I glanced at a photo on the wall and immediately burst into tears.  Those emotions lie under the surface but run deep.  A good day unexpectedly turned into a difficult day.

3.  You can’t replace your loved one, but can learn to celebrate the value she added to your life.  I have had many special friends and am learning to appreciate the things I learned from them.  For too long, I grieved their absence instead of being grateful for that season of friendship.


    Are you hurting?  Maybe you have some tips to share?  Feel free to post your insights to help others.
One more thing.  I have benefitted greatly from daily emails with snippets to think through the process of heartache.  You can sign up too, at griefshare.org 



Related Posts:

Needle & Thread 

Talking to God 

We are not home yet 

3 user comments.

Posted by Sally Ferguson:

Debbie and Lottie Lou,
Family fill in the gaps in so many ways. We share the stories that remind us of happier times, and shoulder the tears that accompany the sad times. I love you both so much!

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Monday, May 7th 2012 @ 11:27 AM

Posted by Debbie Peirce:

Sally, you are such an inspiration. Thank you for all your help in getting through everything these past 2 years, "the season of our grief" as I think of it. You are such a great sister and I'm sorry to lean on you so much, but so glad you are there to support me. I love you! Deb

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Monday, May 7th 2012 @ 9:12 AM



This comment has been moderated by the blog owner

Monday, May 7th 2012 @ 8:09 AM